Out of Service

I’ve always known I was a bad blogger. But there’s no time to apologize now because I have a complaint that needs to be made! A complaint that cannot be made to people I know because most of them don’t know what I’m talking about which completely defeats the purpose of complaining.

My complaint is this: Helen Fielding wrote a new Bridget Jones’s book and she killed off Mark Darcy.

Yes! I know there are people out there reading this who are also in shock/rage/weeping right now.

I was so, so, so, so excited when I heard Fielding was writing a new Jones book (it is called Mad About the Boy, if there is anyone not too distraught by my semi-spoiler to read it) and when I finally passed by it in Chapters after it came out, I debated and debated buying it or finding it at the library (I had already used all my book budget the week before on Steve Martin’s An Object of Beauty  and Louise Rennison’s The Taming of the Tights; both which were lovely and I do recommend) when I more thoroughly read the inside sleeve and saw a sentence about Bridget’s “boy-toy” that was not Mark Darcy.

Needless to say I bought the book right then and there. I was horrified that they were divorced but at least, AT LEAST they had a chance of getting back together.

But no, at the end of the prologue, you find out Bridget is actually a widow.

No Mark Darcy.

No hope of reuniting.

No happily ever after. This is exactly why I don’t read books about “what happens” after Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy get married: because I don’t want people insinuating they don’t work out. I am thoroughly satisfied with happily ever afters. So there.

Now I am stuck by a reading block with Mad About the Boy and I am a little bit scared to make it to the end. So instead I’ve been watching copious amounts of QI (see video below for the episode I am watching RIGHT NOW), Dr. Who and Downton Abbey when I’m feeling particularly snobby. 

 

On a more knitterly note, I seem to be having some bad luck with hats lately. I’ve already tried knitting two different hats for my bff for Christmas and EACH ONE has been TOO SMALL! It’s horrible. My gauge is fine, my yarn is the right weight…..apparently hats don’t want to be on my bestie’s head. So now I’m going to try and rework one to make it longer (the circumference is correct, it’s just the length. Boourns).

But in good news! Is that I finally finished my Beatnik sweater! Yay! Go team Toria! Guess who’s going to be showing this off while she’s home in a couple weeks! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

Also today is the 1 month mark until I become a Mrs.! Oh man, oh man!

Ta darlings.

An Addiction to Words

Last weekend and the beginning of this week we suffered a heat wave. It was ridiculous. I just wanted to keep asking people, “I thought Calgary was supposed to be cold?” I did actually ask one lady while chatting with her at work and she told me the above 30 degree heat wasn’t normal only for because it doesn’t normally last multiple days in a row but sometimes happens once or twice during the summer. Oy.

Because of this heat the thought of picking up knitting made me overheat [and makes me feel like I have no end of excuses NOT to knit lately, which makes me sad. I still drool over wool and patterns on Pinterest though so there is a silver lining there somewhere] I instead decided to put my $12 a year Calgary library membership to work and get some books that I could at least fan myself with.

Well, if you didn’t already know, I am a book addict. I almost never leave a library without at least a good stack of books, and can if I so do want, finish a book in 24 hours. Which is what I did…..thrice. Ish. Maybe four times. Ok, fine, you caught me. Four books in four ish days.

I might not have picked the “best” books lately, and Kyle might think I have an abnormal obsession for slightly morbid/freaky books but I swear, two were an accident and one I delved into willingly just so I would know what everybody was talking about. Let me explain:

The first book was The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling. Now, if you also didn’t already know, I adore Harry Potter. Kyle and I have had numerous arguments over the fact that he never read past the fourth book because of its length and I will dare anyone to read Deathly Hallows and not bawl your eyes out every single time. Anyways, sorry to say, J.K., The Casual Vacancy was a horrible departure for Rowling. I’m pretty sure she just tried too, too hard to separate herself from HP that she turned her new book into a written version of a daytime soap opera with as much shock value problems and issues that could bring someone back from a coma. I don’t even know how to describe what the plotline is. I’m bad at describing plots in general but this….jeez. Let’s just say it’s about what happens about a councilman dies on a small town’s Parish Council and what ensues afterwards to fill his spot.  J.K.’s writing style was still there at least, which saved the book a little bit. She has such a charming writing style that I found myself sucked in thinking that the characters were quirky and lovely and whimsical, only to suddenly find myself half way through going “what in the name of Merlin’s beard?”

Next came The Dangers of Proximal Alphabets by Kathleen Alcott [not to be confused with Louisa May]. This book focuses on a narrative by Ida who was in love with Jackson and how they became no more. I also got sucked into this book, not because Kathleen writes in a charming or whimsical way but mostly because of the narrator’s direct and honest way of speaking facts. I find this book also almost has a shock value quality to it, even if it isn’t intentionally meant. A good read but I wish there was some more explanations behind some of the different characters’ medical conditions. Also I can’t stand female characters who go all mope and slightly suicidal when their love interest leaves them. This is why I don’t like Twilight [among other reasons]. Get a grip, drink some tea and go punch the offending mister in the nuts – it’ll make you feel better. So there.

Hoping to read a slightly happier book, I moved on to The Colour of Milk  by Nell Leyshon. Let me tell you, if you want a pick me up, although the book sleeve description sounds pleasant and interesting, it is not a happy book. The main character is Mary, the youngest of four on a farm in the early 1800’s who gets hired out by her abusive father to be a maid servant to the Parson’s ill wife. This book is however a very quick read so long as you don’t mind Leyshon’s way of portraying Mary’s completely uneducated way of writing which means that the entire book has intentionally bad grammar and no capital letters.

Finally I just finished Room by Emma Donaghue which has become a pretty popular book in my librarian circle of friends. Donaghue’s book is told through the voice of Jack, a 5 year old boy, who lives in Room with Ma. As the book progresses you learn that Room is actually a prison for the both of them and that most of Jack’s perception of the world is fantasy-based. It’s pretty brilliantly written, I couldn’t imagine even trying to get into a mind-space like Donaghue has created for Jack; I must admit though I found the last half of the book a lot more interesting than the first half and by the end I could barely find any compassion for Ma. Maybe I am just a horrible person, who knows.

Anyways, read them, read one, read three, or don’t read any of them!

I only have a couple books left, one of which Kyle is also convinced is a very morbid book [The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart
by Jesse Bullington], two Margaret Atwoods [The Tent and Lady Oracle] and Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence and then I will be doing another library trip. Even though the heat wave has finally broken….I’m still in book devouring mode.

Winter is Coming….knit faster!

Just kidding.

Although I did see an amazing knitting bag that said that on Pinterest today (being sold on Etsy [I just went to the Etsy store that sells this and I want them ALL) and I must admit, I fell in love. Books and knitting together? Dream.

But I digress.

Guys, I’ve been having a slightly serious problem lately. I have been going through what I feel is a bit of a knitting lag. I actually haven’t had any ambition to start any new projects appropriate for spring/summer. While we were out in Calgary home-hunting I managed to essentially pump out my second Sunday Swing sock [hurrah for me] but otherwise it’s just been a slow trek on my mountain of blankets and a small itch somewhere wondering if I have enough spring appropriate yarn to possible make a tank top out of.

I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I think I blame the excessive amount of sunshine that makes me want to read a book instead. On our flight out to Calgary the lady beside me turned to me at a point and asked if I was knitting a sock [I was], and then proceeded to admit she also had knitting in her bag but she was so caught up in the book she was reading, she couldn’t put it down! My answer was that that was always the toughest decision: to read or to knit. Hamlet thought he had problems.

And if anybody’s wondering, I just finished The Truth by Michael Palin. This book turned into one of those ones where you don’t realize it’s crept into your mind and you secretly love it without realizing it.

Now I’ve started The Gates by John Connolly which so far has been surprisingly funny and full of factual footnotes that I hope are actually true.

Book and a Youtube Post

One of the things I love most is ordering from Amazon. Books are one of my weaknesses and every so often I find myself with enough book wantings to be able to get free shipping on Amazon. Go free shipping or go to Chapters.

This week I received three books that thoroughly thrilled me down to my bones:

 

I’ve already finished Damned which I found was one of those books that you don’t particularly love in the beginning and wonder why exactly you’re reading it/why you bought it instead of getting it from the library….but by the end you think it was pretty decent and think that maybe next time you’ll get it a little bit more [hopefully]. I’m a big fan of Palahniuk, however I’ve found his last three novels haven’t lived up to my standards for him, which is always sad.

Born Weird was highly recommended to me by a visiting friend and once I read the inside cover knew I had to have it. Right now I’m about halfway done and I think by the end I’ll have some very profound feelings bubbling up. More to come when I finish it

I’m super excited to get to The Gun Seller [which I purposefully left until the end] which is by Hugh Laurie, or for those unlearned in classic British humour plays Dr. House [I prefer him pre-House]. He is utterly hilarious on A Bit of Fry and Laurie [something I encourage anyone and everyone to watch] and in the second Blackadder series [which again, is never a bad idea to watch]. Both my visiting friend and I stood in Chapters reading the first bit of it in stores and I knew I needed this book one way or another and that Laurie was going to be an amazing author. Sometimes I distrust when favourite comedians or actors try to write books, and expect the same hilarity you find on-screen and they go a different route on page. I’m finding this with Michael Palin’s The Truth right now, which I picked up mostly because he is my favourite Python; although to be fair, I’m only a couple chapters in and then got distracted by my new hoard of books.

On an end note, here is a youtube video of the most delightful modern version of Pride and Prejudice which is called The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. It’s incredibly funny and awesome. I’m on episode 7 thus far but apparently there are at least 76…..